I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
