My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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