My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
