just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
