When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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