We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I see more hoeing in ur future
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