In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
