if you like me you must not know who I am
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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