you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
