Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
