no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
