I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My penis needs a shock collar
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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