So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
