I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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