If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
