this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
