I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
