look no pants
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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