You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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