Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
