if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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