I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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