My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
