so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
