So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
