im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
