I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
