Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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