My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
