Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
