her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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