You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
