It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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