I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
