Non-Jews are for practice
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
