I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
