You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You've changed since you got that strap on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
