you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
