I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
