Your tits are I can't wait for
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
