Your tits are I can't wait for
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
