Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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