I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
