so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you made out with another girl for some wings
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
