I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
