fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
