I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
