eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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