best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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