He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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